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I hope you can help me. I write this to you at 3.30am when
I am yet again awake from my husbands snoring!
In addition to this, he grinds his teeth. He has a mouth
guard which was made by the dentist to stop his teeth
from grinding away and it also stops the noise - but he
won't wear it - as he says it's uncomfortable. So I was
just searching around for something to put a stop to it as
I am now VERY TIRED. Would you suggest a sharp implement
Yours - very tired from the South
First try rolling him onto his side. Then give a swift kick
close to his groin region. This stirs them enough to stop the
snoring briefly. If you haven't fallen asleep before they start
again then you must get more forceful. At this point, you
pretend that you are asleep and shout "Get off me you
pervert. I don't want to! ” and very theatrically rollover to
face him, flinging your arm over his head as hard as you
can. This will definitely wake him up. Hopefully with such
shock that he won't be able to sleep for awhile afterwards.
Thus giving you enough time to nod off. If he 'wakes' you in a
temper then you have a good excuse." Sorry darling, I had a
terrible nightmare, thank you for waking me. It was awful!!
'This requires some acting skills. Every woman has this ability
especially those who have faked an orgasm, so don't
underestimate yourself. Now this has set you up for a "restful"
night. If he still manages to get to sleep before you then you
need to get serious. Still pretending to be asleep start
throwing yourself around the bed, tossing and turning,
grunting and groaning. If he still stays asleep then take
a pillow and put it over his face whilst holding it down with
your heavy arm. At this point HOPEFULLY, he will have had
enough, got Up and had a wee!, cursed you all around the
house and probably set up camp on the settee down stairs.
Now leaving you with a lovely big bed all to yourself and some
fantastic sleep. However, you must be prepared for some
'negative feedback' in the morning. So as soon as you get up,
go downstairs and wake him whilst apologizing for causing him
such a bad nights sleep. Explain about your terrible nightmare
again. Kiss his head and offer him the bed back. (This will get
him out of your hair downstairs, thus giving you more peace
and your space back). How can he possibly get angry with you?
You have been so sincere and apologetic. Even offering the
bed back!! Continue this for several nights (Start worrying
about these nights and suggest a trip to the Dr's) and soon he
will find you as annoying as you find him. But don't give in!!
He will soon find alternative sleeping arrangements.
Good luck. I hope it works for you as well as it works for me!
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